“Trying out Equinox tonight with my roomate. A gym which imports its water from the fountain of youth, uses money bags as medicine balls, and gold bars for free weights.”

Okay peeps, we’re into the beginning of February which means all of those new years resolutions are at their sink or swim point. If you’re like me, you made a generalized resolution like “quit smoking,” “read more,” or “be nicer.” My resolution this year, however, aside from being less bitchy was to “make healthy choices” so yeah it’s generic enough that it can cover a variety of regressive behaviors i.e. drinking like college student, smoking like a chimney, disregarding the need for physical fitness, and eating like a heifer.

In the last few weeks, I’ve significantly scaled back on my drinking, haven’t smoked at all (actually I kind of gave that up last year), started working out again, and began eating like any self-respecting adult should. Everything is going smooth sailing thus far and the gym is becoming noticeably less busy which is way more convenient because I can finally get my ass on a treadmill.

I’ve never been a fan of fancy gyms – they’re overwhelming and filled with people who are too attractive and physically fit to be around those who… aren’t. I go to Planet Fitness – a gym comparable to Average Joe’s from the acclaimed feature film Dodgeball. It’s $10 per month and I love it because it has all the shit I need minus the hoopla of needing to be a sexy Manhattan gym. Yesterday, however, my roommate convinced me to go to her gym Equinox for a one-week trial. This place is the Globo Gym to my Average Joe’s. It also costs more than 10 times my monthly membership and boy does it show. They have towels infused with sweet eucalyptus, padded stretching zones, numerous studios, sexy looking locker rooms, a juice bar, good looking people, massive space…

I had my first Equinox experience this evening and holy mother effing shiz. I was so taken aback because this place was loud and kind of erotic in a weird way – there was just a lot of good looking people sweating all at once, it was kind of like an orgy… or a Britney Spears video. Either way, not sure I would go back after the 7-day trial just because it was incredibly intimidating to be sweating like a beast amongst a sea of beautiful people.

Either way, my cousin ended up going with me tonight and we did a class called Barre Burn. It was awesome, if you’re in to being yelled at by a petite former-ballerina. I actually really enjoyed the class, and please rub it in my face when I complain for the next 5 days over my inability to walk. Okay, maybe I’ll go back…