The easiest way to get me to do something I already kind of want to do is to be pushed with the ittiest bittiest bit of peer pressure. Most recently, this has lead me to buy a bus ticket and participate (somewhat) in a ski trip — that’s probably in a blog post in and of itself — and, as of this week, a cleanse.

So I’m not really one for fads at all, at least at this stage in my life. Perhaps 15 (eek) years ago you could easily wrangle me into getting a Tamagachi or Ferbie but not today friends! Not today… 

Oh yeah so the cleanse – I’ve been wanting to do one around the time Gwyneth Paltrow and most of Hollywood began raving about it. At that time, though, and probably now for that matter too, people were talking about cleanses with lemons and peppers and other horribly tasting concoctions. Clearly the amount of negativity around something that’s supposed to be sooo amazing is what turned me away for this long. Until now.

One of my new year’s resolutions was to make healthy decisions which has admittedly been a smidge bit of an issue but hey, I’m trying. With that in mind, I kicked off 2012 with the idea, nay, the need, to do a cleanse. I was fully convinced that this would be an awesome way to get healthy, and boy was I right (wrong..ehh right).

Despite the fact that it’s taken me 3 months to actually get my shit together enough to do one, I am now fully done with a cleanse. Luckily, one of my coworkers was on the same wave-length as me and helped push me over the edge and do the Kaeng Raeng cleanse with her. They recommend their newcomers to do their 3-day beginner cleanse which I kindly obliged. The cleanse arrived this passed Monday and so Tuesday began the 3-day journey into cleansehood. 

I’ll try to break the days down by themes. Since my writing is incredibly choppy due to my raging ADHD that came out this week.

Day 1: “But it’s 10 o’clock in the morning!” My coworker replied as I cried out loud for a huge slab of meat. Luckily, by the graces of my psychic abilities (I’m convinced I have it!!), I went to the grocery store and picked the type of fruit most likely to be in my juices (rasberries and blueberries FTW!) and already had similarly flavored yogurts to help get rid of the blegh taste. This helped make the first day rockin’! That is, until I got to work, started drinking the cleanses, and was hit with the sudden urge to eat any type of meat on God’s great earth. “UGHHHH I WANT A BURGER!” was the exact words to come out of my mouth to help yield that type of a response from my coworker.

Day 2: “NEW YORK SMELLS LIKE FOOD” Had sweet dreams of cows, steaks, hamburgers, you name it. Noticed that everyone online posted more pictures than normal of the culinary pleasantries – those assholes. It’s like I was being chased around by food, even from the supposed confines of the internet. Tried to hide inside of my office all day to escape the sweet smells of the great city of New York. Drank half of my lunch because it was, um, disgusting, and spent the remainder of my day munching on baby carrots. Went to a happy hour after work where I didn’t drink alcohol (that’s actually a big deal seeing as I normally succumb so quickly to peer pressure). Stayed too long, felt faint from not finishing lunch/having dinner in a timely manner. Got home and got violently ill. That was awesome.

Day 3: “Queeeeeazy” called home to my mommy to let her know what the hell went down the night before. Almost went to the hospital, but luckily felt better after I, um, ate something (fruit). Had some residual queasiness up until the afternoon, even after having the breakfast cleanse. Suffered through the rest of the day. Can’t tell you how excited I am for my breakfast tomorrow (scrambled egg whites with peppers and a piece of wheat toast with a thin layer of jelly — not that I’ve been planning that or anything…)

When all is said and done, when you completely disregard how foul one of the flavors was (umm blueberry, egh), I actually feel great. I’ve never been one to go off the numbers on a scale, so just the fact that I feel great is fan-freaking-tabulous. Would I recommend Kaeng Raeng? – sure. It was inexpensive and pretty effective. If you’ve ever wanted to do a cleanse before, just go for it. Seriously, you have nothing to lose but some weight.